But interestingly enough, I felt in something of a fog all day today. I was exhausted at the hospital while there for my rotation and having to read through my patient information multiple times to make anything stick in my head. And such was my state at the temple as well. And funny things kept happening. To the extent that I actually sat there before leaving thinking about what lesson Heavenly Father was trying to teach me. Becasue despite the fact that things didn't run perfectly, I couldn't bring myself to use the word "mistake." I kept thinking that I was supposed to grasp something of a lesson in diligence - in proceedng forth with a smile and accepting helping from those around you despite errors or failures or mistakes you may make. I was watching people around me struggle with different things - things as simple as putting on a shoe - and stuggling with things myself and admiring how neighbors helped them and me without hesitation and how in the end everything was beautifully complete - like we were all cracked in different places but helping each other glue ourselves back together.
And then I left and drove home and a string of bad luck and disappointments came my way in a matter of a few minutes of phone calls and a few reckless drivers. Sparing the details, I was quitely wanting to call it a day and reflect on this whole lesson in imperfection some other day. I was in my house long enough to drop my keys and burn my tongue on a sample of my spaghetti concoction when I heard a knock on my front door. Wondering who in the world it could possibly be, I ran down the stairs to answer it. No one was there. Weirded out by that and not willing to accept that I had gone crazy and imagined the knock, I awkwardly questioned "Hello?" to the empty yard.
A scrawny little boy with a missing front tooth and messy hair popped around the corner, called me "Ma'am," and rattled off something about a free newspaper and supporting his attempts to pay for his college education and something else about $70 and any help he could get. He had a lisp and was talking a mile a minute and backing away as he did so, already anticipating rejection.
I smiled at him and asked him where he wanted to go to college. This boy was probably 8 years old and told me where he lived - not a good part of the city. I apologized and told him I wished I could help him but that I'm moving so I wouldn't be able to get a newspaper because no one would even be living at the house. But, clearly inspired by my willingness to even talk to him, he wasn't going to let me off that easy. He offered me a one month subscription. I told him I was moving in two weeks. So, in his last desperate plea, he offered me something that cost $9 and ended with a pleading, "Please, Ma'am, anything helps."
So of course, I told him to come inside and I gave him my credit card information for his form and bought something that costs $9. I don't even know what it was. A Sunday paper? The option wasn't even officially listed on his form. But he was ectastic. He bounced away. He talked my ear off while I filled out his form about how people have shut the door in his face and how he really needs to pay for college.
Moral of the story? We all have disappointing days. Some days no one will answer the door. People will slam the door in our faces. Our plans won't work out. We'll make mistakes. But people will be there to help us. Heavenly Father will help us. He will place people in our lives to brighten our days. To buy our newspapers or help us put our shoes on. And if it so be that we remain in a fog, unable to clear the haze and make sense of the disappointment to find direction, he might send a messenager directly to us. Nine dollars will never fund that precious child's college education, but it hopefully was enough to support his morale for the night and it was a small price to pay for the priceless lesson.
....And if it so be that this child was a scam? Well...then perhaps he'll attempt to for real fund a college education with my credit card number. And, if nothing else, he proved that I have a bleeding heart and I'm doomed to be one of those old ladies on the block that all parents send their children to for fundraisers because they know I'll crumble in the presence of their cuteness... :)
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