$21.16 of Gratitude

The season of Lent is now complete. It's the morning of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the celebration of the greatest gift ever given...and I'm in the middle of nowhere Nebraska where the stars are boldy shining and there's abosulte stillness surrounding the little farmhouse I grew up in. I got here at midnight actually after a detour for a beautiful and spiritual three hour Easter Vigil mass on my way home. And I drove in listening to piano music. And I don't even care if that makes me a weirdo. I'm contemplating the season of Lent that ended with the dawn of this day while munching on frosted animal cookies, and justifying that becasue every kid in the world would love to be sitting here eating them with me while waiting for the Easter Bunny to arrive...

The season of Lent. I did something absolutely unique this year. I decided while running on Fat Tuesday - the day before the start of lent (February 12 to be exact) - that I was going to use the 40 days of prayer and fasting leading up to Easter Sunday to become someone better than I was at the start. And so I decided I was going to love more deeply. And to do so? Through an expression of gratitude. Through 40 letters in 40 days (well 46 to be exact...). Letters of gratitude. Letters written and mailed to people I am blessed to have in my life. Letters to people who have impacted me, helped me to grow, and supported or challenged me in my faith journey. Counting my blessings if you will.

And I did it. I wrote a letter every single day for the past 46 days, rain or shine, lots of sleep or little. I got up early or stayed up late. I took study breaks at the library. I wrote from the backseat of a friend's suburban and while tuning out pharmacy school lectures. And I am so blessed because of it - because of the people that Heavenly Father has placed into my life and given me the privilege of thanking.

At the conclusion of the project - at least the physical manifestation of it. I feel empty but absolutely full. Empty in that I've written away so much love and poured all of the energies of my heart into it while continuing on in the exhausting road of graduate school. But beautifully full in that I could keep going. In that I realized how much and how deeply I love so many people in my life. In that I feel so incredibly humbled by the love that so many have shown me in life. And I feel swallowed up in a reciprocating love - in a realization that no matter how much love I ever could give, I can never out-give the Savior. Because Jesus Christ loved me and you so much that he embraced our sorrows for us so that we don't have to. He sufffered everything we ever have and more and gave absolutely everything for us. Out of pure and simple love. No measure of gratitude could ever be sufficient to thank him for that.

I have one more letter to write. A letter to my Savior. And I'm going to write it today. But really, I feel like it's going to have to be more of a proclamation. Words on paper will not even begin to measure up to the love that He deserves from each of us. So I'm going to write this letter today and then promise to try and live the love I express in it each and every day. What He has done for us deserves a living and ever-expounding measure of gratitude expressed as love.

I wrote Forty-six letters, spent  $21.16 in postage, and a received in return a heart full of gratitude. I think an expression of love is a small price to pay in return. :)